First, The Science
Behavioral Science research states that any action you perform for someone else creates a “debt” in that person’s subconscious and, at least in aggregate, that person will feel compelled to pay you back in some way.
For example, do you remember the last time someone offered to buy your coffee at Starbucks or give you a piece of gum? Were you left with a good feeling about that person, and did you feel, even in a very small way, some sense of connection with that person?
What about when someone brought bagels, cookies, or donuts to your office for no reason? What did you think about that person afterwards?
Now, How To Get What You Want
So, the way to create this “debt” in someone else’s subconscious is to do something of value for him/her. So think about what you want, who you want it from, and what the person would value. Maybe it’s something minor like giving someone an extra pen or maybe it’s a bigger item like helping someone get a job. Whatever it is, make it happen, and keep making it happen. And not just for one person, for many people.
The next time you bring cookies to the office, watch the reaction on people’s faces. I’m guessing there will be more than a couple smiles.
Extra Credit
You unlock the gold star if you end up doing something completely selfless that doesn’t provide any benefit to you. Try introducing two people in a business or romantic setting.
The payoff won’t be immediate, but if you keep doing it, it should pay you back 10-fold.
The best part? You may just fall in love with the feeling of giving :)
